13 Red Flags in Relationships
in https://www.verywellmind.com/10-red-flags-in-relationships-5194592
If your partner displays any of the following red flags, it's time to have a conversation with yourself, and them, about the future of your relationship. While all scenarios are different and there's always room for nuance, a red flag indicates a deep problem that the other person must address to have a healthy relationship with you, themselves, and anyone else.
Signs That You're In an Unhealthy Relationship
"Drinking daily or drinking until inebriation a few times a week can be a red flag for a drinking problem.
If alcohol or drugs are impacting your partner's life in a negative way—be it their work, health, or relationships—that is a sign of addiction.1 Similarly, if your partner relies on substances to get through the day, week, or a tough situation, this is indicative of addiction and signifies they haven't WHC-13yet figured out how to cope without altering their mental state.
If substance use ever leads your partner to harm you physically or emotionally, that is a clear sign to walk away.
Violent Displays
Someone who demonstrates violence toward you, loved ones, strangers, and even animals is a serious red flag. It indicates they haven't developed a healthy way to properly channel their emotions. In some cases, it could also be indicative they lack empathy for others.2
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
Other misaligned relationship goals include where you want to live, whether you want to have children, and how you plan to tackle finances.
Persistent Jealousy and Distrust
"Another common red flag is jealousy and distrust," says Trueblood. "Often, the red flag of a very insecure partner looks like attentiveness at the start of a relationship, but there's an underlying control problem beneath all the attention. Later in the relationship, it's easier to look back and reinterpret that constant attention or overboard generosity as desperate insecurity."
Relationships require trust to succeed. If your partner has a history of infidelity, it's important to proceed with caution.
Even if your partner has demonstrated change, you must ask yourself if you feel comfortable pursuing the relationship, knowing they have a history of cheating. Some people may not be bothered by this, but if you are, recognize that this factor will affect your ability to trust your partner completely.
Controlling Nature
A partner who is controlling in any way likely has deep personal issues they must work on. Rethink your relationship if your partner tries to control who you see, who you talk to, where you go, how you spend your money, what you do online, what your body looks like, what you eat, or even what you wear.
Lack of Emotional Intimacy
One of the best parts of being in a romantic relationship is connecting deeply and authentically with another person. For some, emotional intimacy is challenging but it should always be the goal. A partner who shows no interest in opening up and bonding is a death knell for a relationship.
Gaslighting is when a person says and/or does things to make you question your own sanity. They might lie, tell you you're forgetful, distort history, accuse you of overreacting, and employ other manipulative tactics to make you seem and feel mentally ill. The goal of this type of emotional abuse is control.
People with narcissistic or borderline personality disorders, among others, typically engage in love bombing—manipulatively showering someone with praise and affection to gain (or regain) trust quickly.
Someone who is breadcrumbing is leading you on with little morsels of encouragement—just enough so you don't give up on the relationship. Move toward this person and they'll move away. But if you withdraw, the person will ramp up their breadcrumbing again. A breadcrumber doesn't like or intend to commit.
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