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How to Set Healthy Boundaries & Build Positive Relationships

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Freehttps://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/#boundaries

Healthy boundaries define what is appropriate behavior in our relationships – behavior that keeps both parties safe.

And setting healthy boundaries is crucial for self-care and positive relationships.

But let's first understand what boundaries are.

Boundaries differ from person to person and are mediated by variations in culture, personality, and social context. Boundaries appropriate in a business meeting would seem irrelevant in a nightclub with old friends! Setting boundaries defines our expectations of ourselves and others in different kinds of relationships.

Below, we will examine definitions of relationship boundaries, how to set healthy boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and how to establish healthy boundaries in different contexts. We review the New York Times bestseller "Set Boundaries, Find Peace".

What Are Boundaries?

Let's define boundaries. Put simply:

"A boundary is a limit or edge that defines you as separate from others"

(Katherine, 2010, p. 14).

Our skin is an obvious physical boundary, but we have other kinds of interpersonal boundaries too, including a limit that extends beyond our body.

Consider what happens when somebody stands too close for comfort. We often describe it as someone invading our personal space, but definitions of personal space vary according to culture, the type of relationship involved, and social context.

Comfortable boundaries with your partner at home, would not be appropriate in a different social context, such as attending a business dinner together.

Similarly, the level of physical intimacy deemed appropriate for expression in public spaces varies wildly across cultures.

When I lived in Sri Lanka, it was customary for children to greet their parents by touching their feet rather than hugging them. Meanwhile, touching, hugging, and kissing between married couples was frowned upon in public.

However, in the UK, hugging and kissing in public is acceptable, and embraces between friends, partners, and family members are deemed appropriate in shared public spaces.

Having said that, we all have friends or family members who are personally uncomfortable with hugging in any situation other than in private with their partner. Each individual is different.

So, in summary, a relationship boundary is an interpersonal limit that is mediated by variations in personality, culture, and social context.

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries?
What Is Boundary Setting? PART TWO
 

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Monday, 13 January 2025

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