https://survivingnarcissism.tv/controlling-relationships-decide-how-you-will-live/

In controlling relationships, deciding for yourself might seem like an impossible task.

Why it Makes Sense for you to Decide How You Will Live, Even if the Controller Disagrees:

Think carefully about your relationship with controllers. How commonly are you reminded that those people have an agenda for you and you are supposed to know it, bend toward it, and believe in it? That's actually a major part of the controller's relationship with you. You're supposed to filter your life through their agenda.

An unpopular opinion to the controller – It is good and healthy for you to wish for freedom from them, and the desire for freedom does not mean you are one not to be trusted, or a rebel.

So why does it make sense for YOU to decide how you will live, even if the controller disagrees? The answer is simple! You are never at your best when looking over your shoulder, worrying about the ways a controller will correct you next. Being free means standing firmly in the presence of a controller's pushy, agenda-driven mindset. It may not feel easy or natural, but as you remind yourself of the bankruptcy of the controller's agenda driven lifestyle, you can find the necessary resolve. Setting aside their agenda, you illustrate that you believe in you.