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What is Narcissism?
Narcissism is the pattern of life driven by self-absorption, control, and manipulation. It can be understood as a pattern on a spectrum, with each of us having at least some capacity for it.
On the far end of the spectrum, narcissism is referred to as a personality disorder (NPD), a pathological manner so embedded and so dysfunctional that it renders the individual as one who surely contributes pain and strain in relationships. People with NPD have an inflated sense of their self-importance, an excessive need for admiration or superiority, and a greatly diminished capacity for empathy.
Short of NPD, many people are sufficiently inclined toward self-impressed behaviors and poor empathy, so they too create exaggerated strain in their primary relationships. Others may contain their narcissistic tendencies fairly well, yet they may also have moments when it comes to the fore. That's life on the spectrum.
8 Primary Indicators Of Narcissism
Consistently, narcissists display most or all of eight identifiable tendencies:
- An inability to empathize. Narcissists do not feel the need to know and understand a person's emotions or experiences. Being self-enamored inhibits their concern for others.
- A strong, persistent need for control. Narcissists believe they should be the ones holding the reins of power in relationships and organizations. Wherever they go, they have a fixed agenda regarding the ways life is supposed to unfold.
- An attitude of entitlement. Though they show little concern about the needs of others, they routinely focus on satisfying their own needs and preferences. When they do not get what they demand, anger is inevitable.
- Manipulative, exploitive behaviors. Being non-authentic people, they can give the appearance of friendliness or coordination, only to show later that they are users of people. They are not honest or trustworthy.
- An inability to receive direction. Narcissists are pathologically defensive. They have an image to maintain, and any discussion about flaws or mistakes will be met with strong denial, reversal, blame, or accusation.
- A need for superiority. Truly believing in their unique, lofty status, they are commonly critical and condescending. They justify bullying and stubbornness by focusing on others' inferiority.
- An alternate reality. Their lack of objectivity causes them to anchor upon a version of truth that does not match pitch with others. They truly believe they hold distinct perspectives that others cannot learn.
- Ability to create favorable false impressions. For a time, narcissists can appear charming, friendly, and agreeable. Their yearning to be admired prompts them to present themselves as appealing and enviable. But this charm inevitably is temporary and situational.