Openly Communicate Your Boundaries
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-set-boundaries/
Openly Communicate Your Boundaries
One of the biggest mistakes people make is setting boundaries in their minds but not openly sharing them with the people in their life. Sometimes people assume that you should know their boundaries. But if they didn't clearly communicate where they've drawn the line, how will you know when you've overstepped it?
This can seem daunting and scary, but it can feel like a significant relief once you get it out of the way. As social psychology researcher Brene Brown says, "clear is kind, unclear is unkind." Once you know your boundaries, you have to communicate them.
Take a deep breath, gather your resolve, and assertively express your needs in a kind, direct way. Here's how:
How to Clearly Communicate Boundaries| Time Boundary | "I can only stay for an hour" or "If you're going to be late, please let me know ahead of time." |
| Energy Boundary | "I don't have the energy to help you with [their request] right now, but maybe [this resource] can help." |
| Emotional Dumping | "I understand you're having a hard time and I want to be there for you, but I don't have the emotional capacity to listen right now." |
| Personal Space Boundary | "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you [touch or action]. If you can't respect my space, I'll have to leave." |
| Conversational Boundary | "This is not a topic I'm willing to discuss right now." |
| Comment Boundary | "I don't find those types of comments funny." |
| Mental Boundary | "I understand we see things differently and I respect your opinion, but please don't force it on me." |
| Material Boundary | "Please ask me first before borrowing my [possession]" or "I would appreciate it if you didn't touch my [material thing]." |
| Social Media Boundary | "I don't feel comfortable with you posting that on Instagram." |
Fortunately, once someone is aware of your boundaries, most people will respect them and apologize if they accidentally cross the line. Without clear communication, the lines become blurred. You can quickly find yourself crossing into the more dangerous territory of getting burned out, taken advantage of, or even neglecting your own needs.
The more precise and direct you can communicate your boundaries, the easier it will be to uphold them. Boundaries are like the "rules" of a relationship. When they're displayed for all parties involved, it is much easier to respect them.
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